Nick T-R
From King's Church Coventry
This is a song that has developed from a time of open worship we had a small group at our church where I sung what is the chorus and felt there was much more to it. I've taken scripture from Psalm 93 to form the basis of the verses. The second chorus came out of singing the chorus and singing out different things.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated
Verse 1:
You are robed in majesty
And you’re armed with strength
Nothing can stand up to you
You overcame death
Chorus:
Over us
You reign on high
You reign on high
Verse 2:
You create the first and last
You are from all eternity
You alone are worthy
You on high are mighty
Bridge:
Who is there that is like you?
Who compares to your matchless worth?
You are Lord, God Almighty
And you reign over all the Earth
We will stand here before you
Lift your name with our voices, sing
Emmanuel, God is with us
You are here, my Saviour and my King
Chorus 2:
God with us
You reign on high
You reign on high
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Thanks for this feedback.
I feel that the meaning of the lines are important as they are and I don't want to lose that as they are in line with where my church is at right now, as mentioned at the start of the blurb.
The reason why I've called it "You are robed in majesty" is because I refer to all songs by their first line, so having "You reign on high" as a second title is certainly plausible and not much of an issue
However, I feel like the other suggestions you have made are changing the meaning of what the lines are saying.
"You are clothed in glory" is very different from "Nothing can stand up to you", granted there may be a better way to word that, but the suggested line is also very similar to the first line. It also adds up to the same amount of "You are's" as the original second verse, which you said is too many so I'm not quite sure where you're coming from with that comment.
Again, "You are rich in mercy" doesn't say the same as "You create the first and last".
The following line that I put "You are from all eternity" has a different meaning as "king of all eternity", and that line is one of the quotes from Psalm 93.
I personally don't think that "So glorious and mighty" fits as well as "You on high are mighty"
I'm sorry to sound so negative towards your comments, but as I said, there is a difference between rewording lyrics and just changing them to something that might sound nicer.
I can appreciate that there may be some lines that could be worded better and if you have suggestions towards rewording them then I would appreciate further input.
i hear what your saying, but thats what feedback is all about. rewriting songs unitil they are the best that they can be.
if you didnt want to change any lines in your song, you shouldnt of posted it on this furum for feedback.
maybe the better thing would be to ask the people in your church what they think of your words.
I don't think you do hear what I'm saying. I'm not saying lines can't be changed, I'm saying that I don't want to change the meaning of the lines. They can still be rewritten in a way that conveys the point better.
yes i agree with you, i just think your song could be so much better much more creative than it is, i got carried away when i first saw the.
robed in majestry i was thinking of the chris tomlin song how great is our god.
the beginning of the song where it says below.
the splendour of the king, clothed in majesty.
i love songs about heaven and earth, and the king or his majesty.
you said your song was written about what your church is going through, to be honest with you i didnt see any of the words in your song that resembled that.
what i see more in your song is more of a concregational song, that was all about the glory of god.
the only thing i will add is your song is good, but its the kind of song that has been written so many times before.
i think the best thing we as song writers can do is, try to find out what our pastors are preaching about or try having finding out what the people in our concregation is going through.
and try to write songs around those kind of experiences with prayer and bible study. songs do go through many changes they even turn out to be different from what we first started with.
until we cant find anthing else to say in our songs, then we know they are finished.
anyway i look forward to seeing any changes to decide to make to your song.
エルメスは、フランスの会社で、エルメス アウトレット社が展開するファッションブランドの事です。エルメス ベルトエルメス社は馬具工房として創業したが、自動車の発展による馬車エルメス ケリー バッグの衰退を予見し、エルメス プリュム鞄や財布などの皮革製品に事業の軸足を移して成功しました。現在でも、エルメス 財布 ケリー馬具工房に由来するデュックとタイガーがロゴに描かれています。エルメス 財布デュックは四輪馬車で、タイガーは従者のこと。エルメス 指輪主人が描かれていないのは「エルメス 通販は最高の品質の馬車を用意しますが、それを御すのはお客様ご自身です」という意味が込められているためだそうです。エルメス バーキンは人気の高いファッションブランドですね。中でもエルメスバーキン バッグは男女共に人気のあるファッションブランドです。エルメスバッグでもエルメストートバッグ・エルメス ケリーバッグが人気のある商品ではないでしょうかエルメス ガーデンパーティ？
バーバリー アウトレット【BURBERRY】はイギリスバーバリー マフラーを代表する世界的なファッションブランドバーバリー マフラー アウトレットの一つです。創業者であるトーマス・バーバリー 通販は農民が汚れを防ぐために服の上に羽織っていたバーバリー マフラー メンズ上着をヒントに「ギャバジン」といわれる耐久性・防水性に優れたバーバリー 店舗新素材を生み出しました。1924年には有名な【バーバリー コート】が誕生。コートの裏地としてデザインされたのが起源で、バーバリー トレンチコート1967年にパリのショーで発表された傘にバーバリー マフラー・チェックを裏地以外で初めて使用し、その後、バッグやバーバリー マフラーなど様々なファッションアイテムに使用されました。バーバリー バッグ現在はカラーバリエーションBURBERRY バッグも最初のキャメル／赤／黒／白だけでなく、様々なカラーバリエーションを展開しています。バーバリー マフラー ピンクは、映画「ティファニーで朝食を」やバーバリー マフラー「カサブランカ」でピーター・セラーズ、 バーバリー公式サイト オードリー・ヘプバーン、ハンフリー・ボガート、バーバリー マフラー カシミア元英首相ウィンストン・チャーチル、ら数々の著名人が愛用したことでも有名BURBERRY マフラー。また、1955年にはエリザベス2世のロイヤルワラントを授かり、バーバリーブルーレーベル1989年には英国皇太子によって認証を授かっており、バーバリー マフラー 巻き方イギリス王室ご用達でロイヤルの称号を持っています。現在ロゴとして「バーバリー マフラー 値段」と「Burberry's」の二つが存在するが、バーバリーブラックレーベル後者は2000年の変更以前の製品についているバーバリー マフラーものでありそれ以降は全て「バーバリー マフラー ウール」に統一されています。
New Song
Nieuwste forumberichten
Hi Nick
im not keen on the line, (Nothing can stand up to you) its not a very strong line.
how about
You are robed in majesty
And you’re armed with strength
you are clothed in glory
You overcame death
might make your 1st verses stronger.
(You create the first and last) isnt a very strong line either.
how about
you are rich in mercy
king of all eternity
you alone are worthy
so glorious and mighty
this might make your 2nd verses stand out more.
you have too many (you are) in the second verses.
i personally think your song should be called, (you reign on high).
your song has a lot going for it, you just have to make your verses better.