Jamie Bennett
From St Andrews, Chorleywood and Dunvant Christian...
Wow, not been on here in ages! Here is a song I'm writing at the moment, would appreciate any feedback. Excuse the rough recording...
Verse1
We once walked in darkness
Surrounded by night
Blinded by sin and covered in shame
Verse 2
This land seems filled with darkness
Where is the hope?
Where is the joy and where is the peace?
Pre-Chorus
A light is shining in the darkness
A light is piercing through the night
Chorus
Kingdom, Kingdom come!
Break the chains that prison the nations!
Kingdom, Kingdom come!
Snap the bonds that grip our hearts!
Father, Son & Spirit, our God three in one
Be our vision, our guide and our life.
Verse 3
Living through this darkness
People are lost
They need to find a light
Verse 4
Stumbling in this darkness
Where shall we go?
It’s time to a find the light.
Bridge
We come to worship, we come to exalt, we come to adore, we come to follow
Our King is mighty, our King is worthy, our King is just and true
He’s clothed in righteousness, he’s rich in mercy, pure is his love and great his compassion
First and the last, the Lord of our hearts, May your kingdom come!
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Hi Gav, my idea behind the song was kingdom of light vs kingdom of darkness, hence why light is mentioned a fair amount... and God's kingdom is obviously the kingdom that is coming that is without evil etc. It is based on Isaiah 9:1-7. Also, I think I disagree about the wordiness... just because I feel that there is a trend in modern worship songs where shorter=better which I don't think is true....
So I seem to have disagreed with you on a fair bit, lol, but thanks for the thoughts and I will bear them in mind!
Jamie
New Song
Nieuwste forumberichten
hi jamie,
nice song idea here, thanks for sharing.
i like the prayer of the song i just worry that the chorus talks more about the kingdom coming? and less about God coming? maybe its a subtle difference.
also for me i think youre trying to do too much at the mo, the song is a bit too long lyrically, esp the bridge.
i think also the song could be improved by looking at other ways of saying darkness or night. and also other ways to say 'light'.
keep working on it, its got some powerful thoughts in it and an honest cry out in the chorus.
God bless,
gav.