willm
From unknown
Hello good people
Went on the New Wine North & East worship development retreat weekend 1 back in October, and on the Sunday morning having been filled to the brim with input, inspired no end, and having had to engage my brain in looking at my own context and how the principles applied there, we got the option of a lie-in on the Sunday (could still go to church cause of the split service thing at All Saints Marple!). It was during this down time that a song seemed to rise up in me, having seemingly opened my message bible at a random page in the psalms, where this one phrase lept off the page - "everything in me says thank You". At that point, it felt like the makings of a song, and I got the beginnings of it written down and filed in my brain for later. I then tackled it soon after & this was the result of the refining process.
I'd be interested to hear any thoughts on it, strengths, weaknesses, any feedback would be excellent :-)
God Bless
Will Makower (I do some sung worship type stuff at Potton Vineyard Church, Bedfordshire, & worshipcentral has been a huge influence & inspiration to me over the years it's been around)
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Everything In Me Says Thank You (Will Makower)
I was lost, so afraid
Before I knew I could be remade
I never knew what I could be
Before Your life crashed into me
My heart is new, it’s been reborn
My life is now transformed
Everything in me says Thank You
Everything in me says Thank You
The moment I called, You answered my cry
And everything in me says Thank You
I join up with heaven to adore You
I’m ready to die and live for You
You stretched out Your hand, pulled me out of the pit
And everything in me says Thank You
I was blind in my fear
Before Your love kicked it out of here
My spirit crushed, my soul asleep
I’d never touched deep cries to deep
Thank You Lord, thank You Lord
You stepped right down and made a way
Thank You Lord, thank You Lord
You were the bridge when we had gone astray
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Hi Will - This could be really good - its uplifting and I like the simplicity of just saying 'thankyou' to God. The chorus is the strongest bit, and the bit that makes the whole thing work. Some suggestions:
1) I do agree with Mr Hatch about the middle of it. The tune you use for "I join up with heaven to adore You, I’m ready to die and live for You" is really similar to the line Matt Redman uses for the lines "We will lift up a shout to adore you, every sound that we make it is for you" in his song "We will dance for your glory". As his lyrics aren't that dissimilar to yours either I think it's a bit close. How about coming down a semitone for the second time you sing that tune again? eg keep 'I join up with heaven to adore you' the same tune and dropping down for 'I'm ready to die...'
2) A couple of the lines in the second verse sound a bit strange ' Before Your love kicked it out of here' and 'I’d never touched deep cries to deep' - maybe have a play around with these ones?
Overall I like it! Thanks for sharing.
Becky
Thanks for the feeback good people, yeah I had realised after writing that there were strong similarities with "for your glory" in certain places, must have been listening too much to the worshipcentral live album I guess!!
I will take a look at the issues you've highlighted and see what I can do to tweak it.
Always invaluable to get some pointers from peers who know what they're talking about with this stuff :-)
Thanks again & God bless
Will
Hi Will.
I really like the song. The way you play puts it in the style of Keane's first album (which I love!). I agree mostly with what other people have said but also think that the verses are strong melodically. Very catchy and easy to pick up. There's a few things that I would change slightly that haven't been mentioned above but this might just be personal preference.
I'm not a massive fan of using the word "die", "dead", "deadsies" or anything like that in an upbeat song unless it's about Jesus dying and rising again. "I'm ready to die... for You", for me, seems to take away from the song. Not that it isn't true, it just puts a bit of a downer on a song that's all about thanking Jesus. Just my opinion anyway, I'm sure others would disagree.
It's definitely well on it's way to being completed! It's already a great song so be encouraged. Great work!
I'm from Biggleswade originally (used to be at Biggleswade Baptist Church, now leading at King's Arms in Bedford) and it's really encouraging to hear people from churches around the local area writing songs, etc. Keep it up and I hope I get to catch up with you soon!
hi there will,
really strong song idea here nice one.
the title and hook is v ctatchy nice work!
totally agree that the melody is a rip off of 'for your glory' in places, i was trying to work out which song it was when mr hatch said it.
just a few other thoughts, youve added a syllable to squash in 'adore you', what about singing 'praise you' instead to keep the syllables the same?
im not overly sold on the line, "Before Your life crashed into me", its the word 'crashed' more than anything. is there another word or way of saying that idea? you could say, 'before your life came close to me', or something?
similar with love 'kicking' fear away, it just all sounds a bit violent for me! could you say, your love cast it out of here?
anyway that might be my personal taste coming through. great song idea tho and one of the best ive heard in ages like mr hatch said.
God bless,
gav
New Song
Nieuwste forumberichten
Hi Will
i have got to say this is a really brilliant song, your vocals really flowed well your piano playing smashed it.
the only thing i will say is the the beginning and the middle of the song sounds far too similar too.
the ben cantelon and matt redman song (for your glory) check this song out you will see its very samey.
other than that this is one of the most original song ive heard in ages.
keep on writing songs as good as this.